Imperfections
by ItsLukasBondevik
Summary: No matter who you are, you'll always question yourself and you'll always question love.


It really wasn't a hard decision, taking Blaine home. By the end of the night, Kurt was the only sober one in the entire party, despite Finn's obviously implausible decision to stay away from the alcohol. For some people it can be like that, Kurt mused to himself, brushing an imaginary hair from his jacket. Some people use alcohol to clear away the pain and the remorse and the memories. For Finn, it could have been a number of things. Maybe it was Rachel's irritating demeanor, or the fact that the two girls he had ever loved were in the same room together, or perhaps it was the kiss that Rachel and Blaine...

Kurt shook his head to clear his thoughts. That was nothing. Kurt knew it was nothing. He turned back to the task at hand, hoisting Blaine onto his shoulder and tugging him out into the crisp night. Ohio during the late winter and early spring had beautiful weather; not too warm, and not too cold. It was a welcome relief to be rid of all that testosterone that was filling up the room. Between Finn, Puck, and Sam, it was only a matter of time before those meat heads started a drunken riot and frankly, Kurt was happy to be out of there as soon as he was. Besides, spending some alone time with Blaine, even a drunken Blaine, made him happier than staying there with all his irresponsible friends.

Well, he didn't mean that in an unkind way. It was just a fact of the matter.

Blaine groaned as Kurt lugged him into the front seat of his car, strapping him in and closing the door carefully just in case he decided to forgo any control he had left over his body and flop out onto the ground like a fish. Finally settling into the driver's seat, he set his car to drive and pulled away from Rachel's house.

It was a quiet drive home but it felt like it took ages. He had left his iPod in his room, so he had nothing to hook up to his auxiliary system in his car, and there was nothing good on the radio, so he drove in almost complete silence. Blaine was half asleep and constantly mumbling, but Kurt found it a bit endearing as he finally pulled into his spot in his driveway. It was nearing three in the morning, and he hoped that his father and Carol were already sound asleep.

Carefully, he hoisted the slightly more bulky boy onto his back and carted him towards the front door, trying to fumble with his keys at the same time. "Kurt." Kurt nearly jumped out of his shoes as Blaine's husky voice whispered in his ear, and he met the young man's brown eyes, looking both concerned and feeling more than slightly enamored. "I'm gonna—" Before Blaine could even finish his sentence he was leaning next to the walkway of Kurt's house, vomiting into a bush. Alarmed, Kurt grasped him around the waist, trying both to avoid projectile vomit as well as keep his friend upright.

Nearly an entire five minutes passed until Blaine tried to stand straight again, a hand to his mouth, looking thoroughly mortified. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice laced with embarrassment and slurred from alcohol and sleepiness.

"No need to apologize," Kurt said with a nervous laugh, gently edging the two of them away from the growing puddle on the cement and tossing open the door as quickly as he could. He flicked on the downstairs light, closing and locking the door and juggling Blaine to one arm as he dragged their bags in behind him. It was a long trek up the stairs, between trying to be quiet and trying to prevent himself from losing his grasp on Blaine and having the poor drunk boy tumble down the stairs in a not quite so dapper fashion.

Finally reaching his room, he threw open the door and dragged the poor boy the final five feet to his bed, dropping him to the mattress. Kurt noticed that he was drenched in sweat and wiped his forehead off with a washcloth from his vanity and tossed it in the laundry hamper. He closed the door and took a seat on the chair, letting himself breathe deeply until his heart rate went to a normal level. Finally, he opened his eyes and glanced to his bed, seeing that Blaine had passed out on his back, spread eagle, his mouth slightly gaped with the smell of alcohol permeating the air. Kurt gently rolled Blaine over and covered him with his blanket, a soft smile adorning his mouth.

The concern he felt from that kiss and duet Blaine did with Rachel was in the very back of his mind, and all that mattered right now is that Blaine was here, with him, in his room, fast asleep. For a moment, Kurt could pretend that they were both in love. That Blaine was spending the night, or maybe that they were living together and this was their bed. Their styles were so compatible it was possible this could be their room. He touched the tips of Blaine's fingers with his own, wishing he could whisk the boy's hand up in his own and squeeze it tightly.

He bet their fingers would fit together perfectly.

Snapping himself out of his fantasy, he walked to the little boudoir in the far back half of his bedroom and changed into his pajamas, his mind filled to the brim with the events of the night. It had been nice to see all his friends from New Directions again, he mused, sitting down to perform his nightly skin care ritual. It calmed him to do something so familiar. As he stared at himself in the mirror, he examined his eyes, the lovely green-blue he was so lucky to have inherited from his father. The light brown hair, the gentle curve of his cheeks, his pale skin that was so aptly described by Coach Sylvester as porcelain.

Kurt's eyes followed down to the soft skin of his neck, hidden by the neck of his pajama shirt. He wondered, if he were another gay male, would he like himself? Would he see this face, this skin, this body and think to himself, that's the man I want to be with for the rest of my life? Has anyone ever really thought that about him before? Has anyone ever considered loving him that way before? Tapping his fingers on the top of his vanity, he turned around to look at Blaine, facing towards the wall and curled up into a ball, his face peaceful.

Has Blaine ever considered a possible love interest? Kurt had considered being with Blaine from the moment he took his hand the first time they ever met. He couldn't even put into words how strongly those hazel eyes had drilled into his soul, deeper than anyone had ever gone into Kurt's heart. A piece of Blaine was forever lodged there, he knew. This wasn't a fruitless endeavor like with Finn or Sam. This had the potential to be real love.

Blaine was the man he had been looking for all his life. It felt silly to think that way, and childish even, but that was a hope he'd had since he was a little boy. He wanted to fall in love at first sight so badly, and when he had all but given up this beautiful man had just waltzed into his life unexpectedly. He had taken him by the hand, sang a song that set his soul on fire, his heart thundering in his chest. He couldn't stop a silly smile from taking over his face for the rest of that day if he tried. He tried for hours to remember the warm touch of Blaine's fingers around his own, the squeeze of his fingers as they ran down the hallways of Dalton Academy like children.

Kurt realized he had been biting his lip hard, and released it, leaning back in his chair. "Would you love me, Blaine?" he asked his still, sleeping figure quietly, crossing his legs and resting his cheek on the palm of his hand. "Could you love me? I could spend the rest of my life loving you." Kurt knew he wasn't going to get a response from the boy, so he stood up and flicked off the light to his bedroom, climbing into bed next to Blaine but keeping his distance.

Finally, putting all the thoughts from his mind from the time being, Kurt closed his eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

It felt like he had been asleep for only a few minutes when he awoke again, drowsy and very warm underneath his blanket. He squirmed a little to find a more comfortable place, and realized he was being slightly impeded and opened his eyes. There was an arm around his back, holding him tightly against another body, and he looked into the face of Blaine Anderson, still very much asleep, breathing gently and slowly. Kurt nearly choked on his own saliva as he tried to figure out something to do, but he couldn't help but savor the feeling of being held for a few minutes more.

All he wanted to do was go back to sleep and snuggle closer to Blaine and rest his head under Blaine's chin and tangle a hand in his hair. He wished he could entwine their legs together and feel their hearts beat in unison, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. At least not right now. But Kurt was past trying to believe in a love that wasn't reciprocated; he had already allowed himself to get hurt on Finn's account, on Sam's account, and he wasn't going to let the same thing happen between him and Blaine.

No, Blaine was too precious. Too important. Kurt allowed himself another minute of this warm embrace, and, resisting the urge to press his lips to every inch of bare skin he could get to, pulled himself out of bed and started to get ready for the day.


End file.
